Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about
you last night, I dreamt you got run over by a
bus and I pissed myself laughing.'
My uncle just got struck off the medical register
for having sex with his patients, it's a real shame
cause he's a really good vet.
Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign
reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog'
She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.
Yesterday I read an article about the
dangers of drinking too much, it scared the
s**t out of me. So today I decided I'm
never reading again.
Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security
guard asks her 'what's your mum like?'
Little girl replies "Big cocks and vodka".
A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks
'Can you settle an argument for us and
pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?'
The waitress leaned over and said .......
'Burrr gurrr king'.
Boss has to lay off Ann or jack. Ann walks
into the office, boss say's 'I have a problem,
I have to lay you or Jack off.....'
'You better jack off, I've got a headache' says Ann
Larry la prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93.
The worst part was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in, then the trouble started.
Paul McCartney poem-:
We lay upon the grassy bank,
my hands were all a quiver,
I slowly undid her suspender belt
and her leg fell in the river.
Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend
was rushed to hospital to have a dangerous
mole removed from his penis......
he won't be shagging one of those again!
It's important to keep fit as you get older, my
granny started walking 5 kilometres a
day when she was 60.
Today she's 97 and we don't know where the
hell she is!
An Asian died and went to heaven, at the gates he saw St. Peter.
He said to St. Peter 'I'm here for Jesus'
St. Peter turned around and shouted 'Taxi for Jesus'.
Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with
a piece of tinsel....They say it's only for the
Christmas period.
A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce
hanging out of her pussy. Doc say's
'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's
just the tip of the iceberg!'
Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask
for the honeymoon suite, the receptionist
asks 'do you have reservations?'
The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the arse'!
Assorted Jokes (Not for children)
Moderator: Staff
Assorted Jokes (Not for children)
2015 Indian Chief Classic & 2022 Royal Enfield Interceptor 650
- barmy-carmy
- Learner Driver
- Posts: 180
- Joined: Oct 11th, '05, 15:07
- Location: Romsey, Hants
- Contact:
- LWR GERRY
- Learner Driver
- Posts: 1470
- Joined: Sep 13th, '05, 16:02
- First Name: Gerry
- Location: Plymouth
Assorted jokes
V-E-R-Y F-U-N-N-Y
The jokes I send in are all from my customers and friends who have more time on their hands than me.
The jokes I send in are all from my customers and friends who have more time on their hands than me.
[img]http://i6.tinypic.com/11v09r4.png[/img]
Re: Assorted Jokes (Not for children)
Bloody TypicalTerminatorChris wrote:
Boss has to lay off Ann or jack. Ann walks
into the office, boss say's 'I have a problem,
I have to lay you or Jack off.....'
'You better jack off, I've got a headache' says Ann
[img]http://usera.imagecave.com/BOSS/bossbanner.jpg[/img]
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Re: Assorted Jokes (Not for children)
I thought my missus worked for you.BOSS wrote:Bloody TypicalTerminatorChris wrote:
Boss has to lay off Ann or jack. Ann walks
into the office, boss say's 'I have a problem,
I have to lay you or Jack off.....'
'You better jack off, I've got a headache' says Ann
She said her Boss was a handcranker.
I think that what she said
- speedy(delboy)
- Learner Driver
- Posts: 5020
- Joined: Mar 2nd, '04, 23:02
- Location: Barnstaple
- Contact:
Re: Assorted Jokes (Not for children)
This was sarahs fav and mine i thinkTerminatorChris wrote:My uncle just got struck off the medical register
for having sex with his patients, it's a real shame
cause he's a really good vet.