Whats the most stupid thing you've seen someone do?
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Once upon a time in a land far far away there lived an ugly useless little troll.
Now being particularly small and feeble this troll wasn't suited to the beautiful sports machines of the day so instead had to settle for the uglier, fatter t-pot styled sister of the gsxrs - namely the gsx750f.
Now every year the ugly troll
used to travel thousands of miles to the Bol dor in a vain attempt to improve his horrific appearance by getting a sun tan 
On one such anuual expedition the troll being equally as stupid
as he was ugly decided that his wallowy t-pot of a motorcycle would not require any oil to do a trip of a mere 3000 miles and so preceeded to ride all the way to the south of france.
Well you can imagine his shock
as upon returning from his trip the motorcycle deviod of any form of internal lubrication at all finally could take no more and blew up 
Moral of the story - even crappy ugly bikes are too good for some people
Now being particularly small and feeble this troll wasn't suited to the beautiful sports machines of the day so instead had to settle for the uglier, fatter t-pot styled sister of the gsxrs - namely the gsx750f.
Now every year the ugly troll
used to travel thousands of miles to the Bol dor in a vain attempt to improve his horrific appearance by getting a sun tan On one such anuual expedition the troll being equally as stupid
as he was ugly decided that his wallowy t-pot of a motorcycle would not require any oil to do a trip of a mere 3000 miles and so preceeded to ride all the way to the south of france.Well you can imagine his shock
as upon returning from his trip the motorcycle deviod of any form of internal lubrication at all finally could take no more and blew up Moral of the story - even crappy ugly bikes are too good for some people
so it turns out.........sometime i do give a f*ck
In a city by the sea there lived a podgy maniac mechanic who decided to service his big red bus. Unfortunately whilst adjusting his valve clearances his podgy fingers dropped four ( yes four count them) shims into the motor. Fortunately the podgy maniac mechanic had lots of luck and they fell out of the bottom of the motor when a wise and handsome relative (!) suggested he took a side cover off….
… unfortunately the podgy maniac mechanic decided that enough was enough so he didn’t strip and check his rear brake calliper; later that week when the pads gave out in the Alps he was very lucky that the wise and handsome relative came to the rescue by finding and fitting new pads whilst the podgy maniac mechanic went up into the hills with two beautiful local damsels!!!!!!
The moral of this story is that podgy maniacs mechanics are sometimes luckier than their wise and handsome relatives.
… unfortunately the podgy maniac mechanic decided that enough was enough so he didn’t strip and check his rear brake calliper; later that week when the pads gave out in the Alps he was very lucky that the wise and handsome relative came to the rescue by finding and fitting new pads whilst the podgy maniac mechanic went up into the hills with two beautiful local damsels!!!!!!
The moral of this story is that podgy maniacs mechanics are sometimes luckier than their wise and handsome relatives.
Just for the record there were 3 (yes 3 count them) beautiful local damsels not 2.boyscout wrote:In a city by the sea there lived a podgy maniac mechanic who decided to service his big red bus. Unfortunately whilst adjusting his valve clearances his podgy fingers dropped four ( yes four count them) shims into the motor. Fortunately the podgy maniac mechanic had lots of luck and they fell out of the bottom of the motor when a wise and handsome relative (!) suggested he took a side cover off….
… unfortunately the podgy maniac mechanic decided that enough was enough so he didn’t strip and check his rear brake calliper; later that week when the pads gave out in the Alps he was very lucky that the wise and handsome relative came to the rescue by finding and fitting new pads whilst the podgy maniac mechanic went up into the hills with two beautiful local damsels!!!!!!
The moral of this story is that podgy maniacs mechanics are sometimes luckier than their wise and handsome relatives.
so it turns out.........sometime i do give a f*ck
It was a beautiful sunny day in the pleasant sea side city of Plymouth when our anti hero, (for narrative purposes we'll refer to him under the pseudonym Scoutboy), invited his lovely wife out for a gentle cruise on the back of his motorcycle.
All was going well as Scoutboy managed to ride his way in a vertical fashion round cattedown roundabout, the birds were singing the sun was shining and scoutboys wife thought life couldn't get any better.....................................until
In a bout of not uncommon f*ck wittedness scoutboy decided to race towards a queue of stationary traffic. Obvious he was in a semiconscious daze idly dreaming of his wild youth days when he had a scooter and HAIR. Suddenly he was awoken from his dream like state by tensioning of his wifes body as she saw the queue of cars quickly rushing to meet them. In a panic scoutboy grabbed the front brake as hard as he could forgetting that he was no longer in his pimp mobile with 4 tyres traction control and ABS.
Well obviously the poor bidgestone could not cope with the ever increasing pressure being exerted by scoutboys ever increasing middle age spread and so folded.
Instantly reverting back to his specail forces training scoutboy curled intoa well rehearsed commando roll just leaving his poor wife to bare the brunt of the impact.
Scoutboy came away unhurt and unrepentant (even blaming his obviously innocent wife for his careless actions), fortunately after a breif spell in hospital his wife made a full recovery, and with just several hundred pounds worth of union flag paint job all damage to the bike was concealed.
All was going well as Scoutboy managed to ride his way in a vertical fashion round cattedown roundabout, the birds were singing the sun was shining and scoutboys wife thought life couldn't get any better.....................................until
In a bout of not uncommon f*ck wittedness scoutboy decided to race towards a queue of stationary traffic. Obvious he was in a semiconscious daze idly dreaming of his wild youth days when he had a scooter and HAIR. Suddenly he was awoken from his dream like state by tensioning of his wifes body as she saw the queue of cars quickly rushing to meet them. In a panic scoutboy grabbed the front brake as hard as he could forgetting that he was no longer in his pimp mobile with 4 tyres traction control and ABS.
Well obviously the poor bidgestone could not cope with the ever increasing pressure being exerted by scoutboys ever increasing middle age spread and so folded.
Instantly reverting back to his specail forces training scoutboy curled intoa well rehearsed commando roll just leaving his poor wife to bare the brunt of the impact.
Scoutboy came away unhurt and unrepentant (even blaming his obviously innocent wife for his careless actions), fortunately after a breif spell in hospital his wife made a full recovery, and with just several hundred pounds worth of union flag paint job all damage to the bike was concealed.
so it turns out.........sometime i do give a f*ck
Re: !
If you mean winner as in the most stupid then yes u are, if u mean winner in the story telling stakes then NO WAYboyscout wrote:I now declare myself the WINNER!!!BluBird wrote:And I'd almost forgotton about andy's mountain climb with 3 french women !!!
Not by along shot - anyway Blu said the french women were ugly and as with all men I'm allowed to spend as much ime as i like with ugly women
Now who would like to hear another story
Remember like all the big hollywood blockbusters these stories are """"BASED"""" on actual historical events!!!so it turns out.........sometime i do give a f*ck
I'd just like to point out that most of "His" stories are (a) 1% fact and 99% fiction; and (b) nothing he's even witnessed but has heard about embellished over the years... whereas everything I've said has been understated because of the embarrassment of a distant blood relationship to the guilty plonker!
... on that point I recall a certain biker detroying the visor and visor fittings on a brand new borrowed helmet by forgetting to close the visor before looking over his shoulder at 100mph on an unfaired bike
. The force that snapped the visor pods also nearly snapped his neck... as did the owner of said helmet upon his early return! ...
... on that point I recall a certain biker detroying the visor and visor fittings on a brand new borrowed helmet by forgetting to close the visor before looking over his shoulder at 100mph on an unfaired bike
. The force that snapped the visor pods also nearly snapped his neck... as did the owner of said helmet upon his early return! ...